Parents Must Be Aware Not To Sabotage These Valuable Skills In Their Children

As parents, we all want our children to be confident and successful.  We try to instill good values, self-esteem, and pride in their accomplishments.

These qualities are well regarded as our children grow and experience new stages in life, from school to their first job, to their chosen career paths.

But despite our best intentions, sometimes parents unconsciously sabotage our children’s path to success by not encouraging the development of leadership skills.

Learning Liftoff stated:

Being a good leader is a valuable skill no matter how old you are—whether you’re in school or the workplace. But not everyone has innate leadership qualities. That’s why it’s important to teach kids early on how to develop the skills to be a good leader.

Being a leader will help kids build confidence and succeed in activities like group projects, team sports, clubs, etc. And these skills will only continue to benefit them as they grow older.

We all want to protect our children from harm, both physically and emotionally, but sometimes the best parenting is letting go in order to foster a sense of independence and internal drive.

There are several things parents may be unintentionally doing that prevent their children from reaching their full leadership potential:

We don’t allow our children to take risks.  Obviously, we want our children to be safe and make good choices, but sometimes allowing them to make mistakes and learn from them is the best course of action.  This will teach them to weigh the pros and cons of every decision in order to come to the best decision — and this is one of the greatest factors in developing maturity.

Children need to fall and learn to get up a few times to build resilience and self-esteem, no matter how hard it may be for us as parents to see.

We “save” our children from difficult situations too quickly — and too often.  Our first instinct as parents is to swoop in and take care of all of our children’s problems, however, this will not teach them to overcome adversity or disappointment and learn to overcome.

Forbes.com reported:

It’s parenting for the short-term and it sorely misses the point of leadership—to equip our young people to do it without help. Sooner or later, kids get used to someone rescuing them: “If I fail or fall short, an adult will smooth things over and remove any consequences for my misconduct.” When in reality, this isn’t even remotely close to how the world works, and therefore it disables our kids from becoming competent adults.

We want our kids to think the best of us, and thus, never tell them “no.” The reality is, your child will not like you all the time.  They will get upset with your rules, and they will want their own way.  But when a child is never taught the word “no,” they do not learn patience or the value of earning their own way.

Forbes.com stated:

Your kids will get over the disappointment, but they won’t get over the effects of being spoiled. So tell them “no” or “not now,” and let them fight for what they really value and need. If your relationship is based on material rewards, kids will experience neither intrinsic motivation nor unconditional love.

We don’t share our own fears, doubts, or mistakes with our children.  Modeling positive and appropriate behaviors can be the single greatest tool in the parental arsenal.  Children repeat what they see and hear.  While we want these lessons to be positive, it often helps to let our children see us as human.  Let them know we have fears, we have made mistakes or poor choices in the past, and discuss the way they were resolved. Share with them your regrets so they know how it made you feel when they are faced with similar choices growing up.

We don’t follow our own words when being a model to our children.  We must watch ourselves around our children.  Do we gossip, tell a white lie, complain, or procrastinate? These behaviors will rub off on our children and will erode their sense of responsibility and consequences.  Parents are the single most important influence on their children.  What we may think of as a minor slip may have a major impact on a young child who is learning right and wrong.

Forbes.com reported:

Watch yourself in the little ethical choices that others might notice, because your kids will notice too. If you don’t cut corners, for example, they will know it’s not acceptable for them to either. Show your kids what it means to give selflessly and joyfully by volunteering for a service project or with a community group. Leave people and places better than you found them, and your kids will take note and do the same.

Above all, leadership is being able to see the value in others, to learn to respect different views and to stand for their values.

In today’s political climate, we see too much of a sense of entitlement and the liberal point of view of having no respect for what others believe or can teach us.

Parents want to give their children the world, but giving them boundaries while allowing them to make their own mistakes is the best gift we can give — building character and personal resolve.

Leadership is not controlling others or always getting our own way — it is a quiet strength that makes others want to follow our lead and strive to be more like us.  Parents can demonstrate this to their children in their everyday actions and careful, loving guidance.

How do you teach your children leadership skills?

Leave us your thoughts in the comments section below.

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