You and your child enjoy a close relationship and enjoy spending time together.
When you become pregnant with your second baby, your oldest is overjoyed, and they look forward to being the oldest sibling… until suddenly they don’t and are full of fits of jealous rage.
You’re left wondering what happened to your sweet little angel, who has now turned into a green monster. But if you’re prepared for the jealous anger, you can help your child overcome their envy with this crucial move.
The most important thing you must do as a mom is reassure your child, over and over, they are not being replaced and you love them.
Even if you’ve said it 100 times, say it again. And again. And again.
Children don’t yet have the cognitive ability to understand what is happening.
They often think they will be replaced by the newest addition to the family.
This is especially true if the child is the oldest, and is used to being the center of attention in the family.
Having to share the spotlight with the new baby of the family can be rough.
In addition, if you have multiple children, the youngest might get used to being the “baby of the family” and may be jealous of their new younger sibling.
One mom told her story of how her stepdaughter Sophia became worried her mom would love her soon to be expected sister more than her.
Parents reported:
“One morning, I lost it. Soph wouldn’t put on her socks and had somehow tied her grumpiness to my growing bump.
I let fly with a tirade: “I do everything for you! Every penny I earn goes to you and this family! Every free second toward playing with you and trying to make you happy. And you respond by hating your unborn sister?! What is wrong with you?”
It was loud, and scary; she started to sob and so did I.
Then she unloaded: Everything would change. Her little sister would be both mine and her dad’s.
What if I loved the baby more than her? I rocked her and reassured her as best I could that I would never love anyone more than her.”
Little Sophia’s fear may have been wrong, but it was real.
Children fear abandonment. They are terrified of being cast aside for the next best thing.
The best way to combat sibling jealousy is to make sure you spend quality time with your other children.
This mom may have lost her cool upfront, but she responded by wooing Sophia, and making her feel cherished.
Parents continued:
“After that, I redoubled my efforts to make Soph feel special.
I baked hundreds of snickerdoodles. I planned a killer birthday party at the rock-climbing gym and waddled through it with a smile on my puffy face.
I took her to the water park on a Sunday in July, hours before going to the hospital to be induced.”
But don’t just plan “mommy dates” before your new baby is born. As challenging as it is, try and spend time with your oldest and do something they enjoy.
Sibling jealously is typical, but when your child realizes they are loved and secured, and they could never be replaced, they’ll grow into their new role as the big brother or sister, and may even learn to love it.
Have you ever experienced sibling jealousy with your children?
What tips do you have to moms currently experiencing a jealous child?
Tell us your thoughts in the comments below.
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