Every day in America, we see scantily-clad women on the covers of magazines, on television, or on social media. Apparently, these images of women are not offensive to the public, but exposing a breast for the purpose of feeding a child is.
There is an obvious double-standard in today’s society – women are told the wonderful benefits of nursing our babies, but have been shamed for doing it in public.
One of the most recent assaults on public breastfeeding is even more upsetting to nursing moms because it comes from another woman — a bride-to-be who sent out invitations to her wedding with a shocking note enclosed.
CafeMom published the offensive note after it was submitted by one of the affected wedding invitees:
“To all our mommies who are breastfeeding, we are thinking of you; we are sensitive to the fact you may need to breastfeed during our event, therefore we have designated an appropriate place for you to feed your baby so that you do not have to do so in public in front of our Family and Friends. For your convenience, we are accommodating you with a comfortable and private area with chairs and baby blankets in the ladies’ room. We request that you use this area when you are breastfeeding. Thank you.”
The request asked that nursing moms to go to this “appropriate space” to breastfeed – a space in a corner of the ladies’ room with a few uncomfortable chairs. Even more shocking, baby blankets were provided, undoubtedly so that moms could cover their breasts while nursing even when ostracized to the confines of the restroom.
The woman who shared this disturbing message on social media was asking for advice on how to handle the situation from other moms. She was obviously offended but was trying to be diplomatic in her response.
And apparently, this was not the first time the bride and groom had shamed their “friend” for nursing her baby.
CafeMom reported the woman said,
“We have had several arguments over ‘my’ breastfeeding ways and they have multiple times voiced that I need to go elsewhere to do that in ‘private,'”
And recently, an instance of a woman being shamed at a country club for breastfeeding her infant went viral on social media.
When guests at an event at the club complained, the manager covered her with a tablecloth and escorted her to the basement so as not to “offend” anyone by exposing her breast.
The woman told Today’s Parent about her feelings on how society views women nursing in public:
Hardly a week goes by without a new study on how breastfeeding is good for your child. We’ve been told that it improves brainpower, strengthens the immune system, protects against ear infections and diseases like type I diabetes, accelerates baby growth rates, strengthens bones and reduces the incidence of SIDS. The “breast is best” message from nurses, midwives, doulas, doctors, scientists, politicians, and pretty much everyone else is that breastfeeding is essential.
Meanwhile, a contrary—but equally assertive—message is also put forward by society, and it’s one that I experienced both at the club and on social media (and in the online comment sections) after sharing my story this week. This message says that breastfeeding in public is shameful and wrong, even though our right to publicly nurse is protected.
And they are far from the only women who have experienced this. Women have been sharing their stories to raise awareness for our rights as mothers.
Why has breastfeeding become so polarizing when it is the way God intended women feed their children?
Women have been portrayed as sexual beings in the media for so long that the public seems to forget who we were intended to be – wives and mothers who will do whatever is needed to keep their families safe and healthy.
There is something inherently wrong with a society’s social norms when women who portray their bodies in an overtly sexual manner are accepted, but women who perform the natural act of feeding their child are vilified.
Hello Giggles reported:
For as long as humans have been around, breastfeeding has been how babies are fed. Although there are parents who choose not to breastfeed, and there are those who are unable to, breastfeeding is a part of parenting that should be widely accepted, but it’s not.
There seems to be this stigma placed on this natural act, particularity if it’s done in public. And that, right there, maybe the reason people are so uncomfortable with public breastfeeding. We’re given messages early on in life that breasts are sexual, often forgetting their natural purpose — to feed babies.
Breastfeeding in public – without covering oneself – is legal in 48 states. South Dakota and Virginia do not have specific laws on the books, but breastfeeding moms are exempt from public nudity and indecency laws. Only one state, Idaho, has no specific law on nursing in public.
Our society must end the attacks on family values and practices that have become so prevalent. Mothers should not be shunned and sent into a back corner or coat closet for feeding their children. The popular expression, “You don’t eat in the bathroom, so why should our babies?” rings true.
How would you react if you received this conditional invitation from a supposed friend? Would you have attended and followed the bride’s rules?
Let us know in the comments section below.