A mom’s agenda is bulging with activities, from play dates to school bake sales, there is never a dull moment.
It’s no wonder that as soon as we go to “rest our eyes” we are out like a light until little hands nudge us back to reality.
But is it just the physical activity that wears us out, or is there more going on behind the scenes?
Amy Weatherly, a mom and blogger, knows what it is like to be bogged down from all things mom.
However, in a recent Facebook post that has gone viral, Weatherly reveals an understanding she came upon during an outing with her son.
Wanting to do something nice for her son’s teacher she went to Target to get some small toys to donate to the famous treasure chest that is kept in the classroom.
Considering that she was the one buying the toys, she thought about texting the teacher to make sure her son got the toy he picked out.
Then she ruminated on having her son learn a valuable life lesson instead, that you “get what you get, and you don’t get upset”, as PopSugar Mom points out.
This is where the awe-inspiring insight came to her on why moms are so tired all the time, and she is not wrong.
PopSugar Mom reports on what Amy said in her post:
“And then it dawned on me: This. This is why moms are so exhausted,” she said, adding that, “Yes, we chase kids. Yes, we clean up after them like the guy scooping up poop behind the horses in the parade. But I don’t believe that’s the true source of our exhaustion. I believe it’s this dance, this teetering back and forth between trying to walk this very, very fine line of what is right and what is wrong. What is black and what is white. What is good for our kids and what is even better.”
It takes a lot of mental energy to care for kids. Moms are constantly considering best and worse case scenarios when planning out what to do without kids in a day.
Then it doesn’t stop when the kids go to bed at night. Falling asleep to ruminating thoughts on what went right or wrong, how you can improve as a mom, and tomorrow’s extensive to-do list are typical for moms.
Turns out that science proves that exerting mental energy does translate to physical exhaustion.
Go figure!
There is a paper that was published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin that gave empirical evidence on mental energy making you physically fatigued.
Researchers used the participant’s blood pressure to measure physical energy after having them complete mental tasks.
The participants did an intelligence test, a get-well letter, and an essay. When these were completed the researchers found something we all know to be true.
Mental effort triggered physiological energy. So, we know that when we exert ourselves mentally, it can drain you.
Interestingly enough, it isn’t all mental power that has an effect on you physically, just thinking about stuff that you don’t find immediately rewarding can have negative effects as well.
Jeanette Raymond is a psychologist and psychotherapist from Los Angeles, and she has studied different aspects of mental energy.
Raymond has found that not all mental activities are created equal. When a friend asks you to go to your favorite restaurant for lunch and discuss fall clothing trends, you may get a burst of energy thinking about this fun afternoon.
However, if a friend calls and wants you to watch her twins for the weekend while she goes to a conference, you may feel instantly drained at the thought of the busy days ahead.
According to Mel Magazine, Raymond says concerning energy output that, “it’s about finding the right activities that feel rewarding, which will offer instant energy.”
Letting yourself worry about all things kids is not helpful to you or your children.
Elliot Cohen, Ph.D., writing for Psychology Today, reported:
“You may think you have a moral duty to worry yourself sick about the ones you love. Of course, this is because you care and want what’s best for the ones you love; but the fact is that worrying yourself sick is self-defeating.”
Worrying causes the body to activate the stress responses. Doing this all the time can “leave the body devoid of energy, which can make your body experience chronic fatigue”, according to Anxiety Centre.
It’s nearly impossible to not think about how our kids are doing in school, or what they will be like as teenagers, or if they are eating healthy enough.
As parents, it is engrained in our DNA to look out for dangers concerning our family. And we shouldn’t ignore this vital aspect of our parental duties.
However, we can stop and think if what we are pondering on is really of importance, or if we could do without it taking up precious mental space.
Spending all our mental energy on whether to pack pb &j’s or hummus sandwiches is a waste of our post coffee boost.
Please let us know in the comments section if you feel physically drained from thinking too much, and if you have a trick that eases the late night pondering.