Dumping a bucket of blocks in the middle of the living room floor for the kids to play with you sit back and watch.
To your surprise each child immediately starts doing something completely different with the blocks- one attempts an exact reconstruction of the Eiffel Tower, one builds them high and immediately knocks them over, while the last child encourages the other two in their play.
Could all your children, being raised in the same house, turn out so different?
Yes, they can!
Depending on if the child is born first, last, or somewhere in between, they will exhibit certain personality traits.
Birth order is not an exact science, but after years of extensive research by many professionals, it is pretty close.
Read the following descriptions by Dr. Kevin Leman as he reports them to Fox News, and see where your personality falls:
1: A natural leader and perfectionist, you are logical, technical, well-organized, conscientious, a good reader, and a list-maker. You take life seriously and don’t like surprises.
2: Self-motivated, a voracious reader, and high achiever, you think in black and white and use always and never a lot. You complete every project thoroughly, expect a lot out of yourself and can’t stand the idea of failure.
3: Independent, sometimes secretive, and a diplomatic mediator, you go out of your way to avoid conflicts and often compromise to keep the waters of life smooth. At home, you never got much attention, so you developed a loyal friendship network.
4: Affectionate, charismatic, and a people person, you enjoy the limelight and surprises. You engage easily with strangers. Growing up, you were “cute” so you got away with everything.
If you picked 1, you’re either the first child born in your family or the first child of your gender born in your family.
If you picked 2, you’re an only child.
If you picked 3, you’re a middle child.
If you picked 4, you’re the baby of the family.
Was he right about your personality matching your birth order?
For most of us, it’s spot on. For those who differed slightly, or had a combination of characteristics, it is most likely due to a variable.
These include, according to Dr. Leman, “the number of years between kids, gender, physical, emotional, or mental differences, adoption, death, blended families and a critical-eyed parent can change that birth order.”
Roles in the family affect how experiences are viewed. You may recall an amazing childhood memory at the family reunion where everyone had a water balloon fight, but then your brother remembers that day as awful because he kept missing his target.
Understanding the vast difference that can occur between your children due to their birth order can help you understand how to resolve sibling rivalry, and how to understand your own choice of parenting.
Know that your first born is a perfectionist, so when brother plays around and throws glitter all over his finger painting, he is likely to get really upset.
The answer isn’t to try and minimize the damage done or to have the brother help in trying to fix it. It would be best for the brother to admit he “messed up” his painting, and offer to bring him new supplies to try it over again uninterrupted.
A middle child is looking to have fun and doesn’t want to upset anyone, even if it means that they get the short end of the stick.
So, when you see the middle child getting berated by the oldest because they aren’t setting the train track up “right”, let the oldest know that different people have different ways of playing the same game.
Maybe even have them have two different “towns” so that each child can make their own track without hindering the other’s creativity.
The youngest of the family is happy-go-lucky most of the time, getting away with breaking a lot of rules because they are cute and charming.
It may seem that there is no downside to being the youngest, but they also have difficulty doing things for themselves and can feel down when they don’t have attention.
When the youngest is fighting with their sister, because they want to be the star in the home production of The Princess and the Frog, let them know that all roles have value; and then try to create an additional character that matches the lead role for a duo act.
Catering to each child’s specific needs will help diffuse tense situations more quickly and effectively.
Parenting can be catered a little, as well, to make the day go more smoothly. This does not mean to be unfair in how each child is treated, but that the approach can differ.
For example, you can have a chore chart that your first born can accomplish on their own in the morning, while the middle child may need to pick from a chore jar, and then encouraged to complete the task.
Your youngest will want to be where the others are, so give them a task that is in the same room as you so they feel they are getting attention and socialization.
Try playing a game with the kids where you explain a birth order trait, and then have the kids guess which child they think that sounds like.
Make sure to make all the explanations positive so no one feels that they are inferior in any way.
Each child is unique and special, and knowing those differences can help you be the best mom you can be while helping your children to reach their maximum potential.
Please let us know in the comments section what you think about birth order science, and if it described you correctly.