Trying to direct our children to the right path is a tiresome task with little immediate rewards.
We tell our children a hundred times to clean up after themselves or to stop hitting their brother, but kids can be stubborn.
Through the thick of it, we think to ourselves, “there has got to be an easier way.” Well, there kind of is.
There are countless techniques parents use to correct children, from the classic time-out to the new age exploration of a feelings chart.
However, sometimes the best thing to do is…nothing.
This may seem counterintuitive, but the best lessons can be learned from a child suffering natural consequence.
In life, these lessons present themselves no matter the age, and it is better that children learn them in a safe environment.
Plus, it requires a whole lot less nagging (which is exhausting for you and your child); helping you to keep your sanity and maintain peace in the home.
Let’s look at an example of natural consequence so you can see if it is the parenting tool you have been waiting for all your life.
Katie Bingham-Smith writing for Scary Mommy used natural consequences for her son when he chose not to pack his lunch the night before like he was asked to do, resulting in him being hungry during the next day.
She wrote about the tough lessons learned that day:
“I believe hunger works better than nagging. Sure, it was hard to say no, but if my kids can’t follow the rules, it’s not my job to adjust them. If I don’t enforce the rules, then “rules” start to look more like “suggestions.” And that spells disaster all-around. I’m not doing them, or the world, any favors by consistently bailing them out.”
It can be hard watching your kids learn things the hard way, especially when you know you could ease their trials by lending a hand, but then they would learn to expect that.
When your kids begin to go through life knowing you are walking behind them picking up all the pieces, they won’t truly appreciate their accomplishments- or you!
All moms want and need a little appreciation every now and again, as Mommy Underground has previously reported.
Entitlement is an epidemic, particularly between Gen Z to Gen Alpha, with younger people being taught by the left that they should be given something for nothing – such as education, healthcare, and even food and shelter.
Much of what moms do for our children on a day to day basis is above and beyond the necessities of care.
While no child is perfect, there should be a respect for the rules, each other, and themselves.
Without this we should refrain from lavishing material possessions and privileges on our children – that is how one becomes spoiled!
It is hard watching our kids grow up, but even harder to see them failing to grow in responsibility.
Working for the things you get in life helps you to value them and appreciate all that goes into receiving them.
Dr. Dona Matthews, Ph.D., describes natural consequences to Psychology Today as the “painful results of one’s actions.”
Logical consequences, Matthews explains, are the result of one’s actions, “but are imposed by someone else.”
Both are highly effective motivators for change and can be done through a few simple steps.
Begin by stepping back when a situation arises to see if the child is able to learn through consequence alone.
Don’t yell or force an action if they don’t pick up on their mistake, instead gently guide them to a logical resolution.
If they spill a cup of milk on the table, show them the process of cleaning it up. Every conflict can be viewed as an opportunity to teach your child.
Perhaps your child’s unfavorable action is a result of hunger, being tired, or a need for affection.
In summary, let your child relate their actions to the consequence that ensues, taking responsibility for the choices they make.
This will help them to be well on their way to becoming respectful individuals who know the empowerment in doing things for themselves while appreciating the times that you can’t help but do it for them.
Please let us know in the comments section if you have used natural consequences as a teaching tool for your children and what the result was.