Tips On How To Win Power Struggles With Your Strong-Willed Child

Moms – if you are raising a strong-willed child – you know firsthand you’ve got your work cut out for you!

Determined to call the shots – strong-willed children can sometimes leave moms clueless on how to handle their intensity.

But the key to parenting a strong-willed child is to not get involved in a power struggle to begin with.

Remember – it takes two to be in a struggle, so just opt-out!

And if you’re looking for creative new ways on how to parent your strong-willed child without crushing their spirit, check out our tips:


  1. They Will Test You: Some kids are easy “go with the flow” type of children – but not your child!

Strong-willed children are constantly testing boundaries – they want to be in charge and run the show and often have difficulty with authority.

This is where you come in – not to be an authoritarian disciplinarian, but to show them how to have appropriate boundaries.

If you give them chores to do – make sure they do them.  They might test you to see how much you will let them get away with.

The trick is to balance firmness and love.

Be willing to let certain things go and definitely choose your battles.

If you fight every single war they try to drag you into – you’ll be exhausted.

But certain things (like if they want an extra 5 minutes in the bathtub) aren’t worth getting into a spat over – while other things like running across the parking lot are definitely worth standing your ground.


  1. Give Them Choices: Your strong-willed child likes to be included in making decisions.

Since they are naturally independent, try giving them two choices (with either one being okay for you to accept)

Motherly reported:

“If you give orders, he will almost certainly bristle. If you offer a choice, he feels like the master of his own destiny. Of course, only offer choices you can live with and don’t let yourself get resentful by handing away your power. If going to the store is non-negotiable and he wants to keep playing, an appropriate choice is—

“Do you want to leave now or in 10 minutes? Okay, 10 minutes with no fuss? Let’s shake on it….And since it could be hard to stop playing in ten minutes, how can I help you then?”

By giving your child choices, you are teaching them how to make good decisions.

And as an added bonus for you – you get to keep the peace! Truly a win/win.


  1. Appreciate Their Strengths: At the end of it all – consider yourself blessed.

Most likely your child has a passion and drive that are unmatched, and if they are trained how to harness their strength for good, their persistence and drive will take them far in life.

Help them cultivate the issues they care about and channel that passion into a good cause.

For older kids, maybe it’s helping speak up for unborn babies, or for homeschooling families.

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It could be nutrition, soccer, reading, music, art – the point is strong-willed children are usually strong-willed because they are passionate.

If you help redirect their angst into something positive, they’ll learn there are appropriate outlets to take out their energy.

Raising a strong-willed child can certainly be challenging, but you’re bound to love their feisty spirit and fierce sense of integrity.

And if you work to help harness your child’s strength and teach them how to regulate their emotions, you can be confident you are raising a future leader!

Are you currently raising a strong-willed child?

What are some techniques you’ve adopted in your home that seem to work well?

Tell us your thoughts in the comments below.

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