While being a new mom is the most magical time of a woman’s life, it can also be overwhelming, exhausting, frightening, and lonely.
We often ask new moms what we can do to help, but sometimes, they are too overwhelmed or embarrassed to really ask for help or even know what they need during this period of adjustment.
If you have a friend or family member with a new baby, we’ve got some great ideas for how to really help – and it will make a huge impact on mom!
The first weeks home with a newborn are often spent in a fog of fatigue, the house is probably a mess, and we often don’t have time to shower or get dressed – for days on end!
These usually aren’t the best circumstances to have someone come over and hang out, no matter how close you are to them.
New moms are often swept up in the paradox of desperately wanting someone to talk to, but also just wanting to be left alone to adjust.
Family and friends like to drop by at inopportune moments – like when baby (and mom) are trying to take a nap.
But there are lots of great things you and your family can do that will be completely appreciated by a new mom, especially if she has other small children in the house to take care of.
First of all, if you’re a very close friend, your new mom pal is probably more comfortable with you coming over to help than, say, their neighbor or mother-in-law.
They are probably craving some adult company without feeling like they have to tidy up or even get out of their sweatpants, something they may feel like they have to do with anyone else.
Sometimes the most overwhelming part about having a new baby home is not taking care of the baby but taking care of everyone and everything else!
How about heading over to her house and helping to do some laundry or light cleaning? Dust, change the sheets on the bed, tidy up papers, load the dishwasher, or fold the pile(s) of clothes she hasn’t had time to get to.
If you don’t want to overstay your welcome while you do some laundry, take it back to your place. Wash and fold it, even separating each family members’ clothes – talk about the best gift a mom can get!
Maybe mom and dad haven’t had time to get the grass cut or the bushes pruned. Doing a little bit of yardwork to help out will be greatly appreciated.
Or how about running a few errands for her? It’s always difficult to head to the store, the bank, or the post office with all the baby gear when you’re exhausted.
Tell her to make a list and offer to pick everything up and bring it back for her. Better yet, instead of giving a gift card for a certain store, go ahead and purchase the family’s groceries for a couple of days.
For an extra special touch, bring back some fresh flowers for the table or a small treat for the kids, like an activity book or age-appropriate game or puzzle that will keep them busy for a while.
If your mom friend has other children and is comfortable with you taking them out for a few hours, offer to take them to the park or a movie, especially if it’s around the baby’s naptime. That way, mom and baby can get some uninterrupted rest.
Close friends may be able to help out a little more in the home than a neighbor or coworker. Even if you have a good relationship, a new mom may feel like she has to straighten up the house or get a shower if someone she doesn’t know particularly well wants to visit.
But you still want to help out, right?
Make up a few casseroles for dinner, or a quiche or coffee cake for breakfast, and drop them off (but call first!).
Does she have kids in school? Put together the beginnings of some lunches for the kids for the week – individual containers of cut veggies or fruit, cheese sticks, little cups of hummus or dip, and juice boxes. Purchase some snack packs of crackers or other non-perishable lunchbox treats.
You can even put everything for one meal in a gallon zipper bag – one for each school day — so she can just pop them in the fridge.
Then all she has to do in the morning is take the contents of each bag out of the fridge, put them in the lunchbox, and add a few of the other snacks you brought. You’ll save her a lot of time and take one thing off her mind!
Many times when friends and neighbors bring gifts over or want to visit, it’s often all about the baby. Of course, baby should be celebrated, but so should every new mom!
How about making mom a gift basket so she can pamper herself? Put together some nice soaps, shampoo, lotions, essential oils, some fuzzy slippers or a plush robe – whatever you think will make her feel special.
Gift cards are always great, but you can make them more meaningful by catering to mom’s needs and adding a few extras – something just for her – for example, a gift card to the bookstore with a copy of the latest novel from her favorite author.
New moms always seem to have to get up to grab something they forgot when they finally settle down to nurse the baby.
Create a basket full of water bottles, healthy snacks, hair ties, and hand lotion for her and add diapers, wipes, burp cloths, and a couple onesies for baby. She’ll have a supply of everything she may need for a long nursing session and she can move it around the house with her so everything is on hand!
More than anything, new moms want to feel appreciated and understood.
It is always overwhelming to have last-minute visitors who want to see the baby and add more work and stress to a tired mom.
These ideas are simple and don’t require a lot of time but are small acts of kindness that will truly be appreciated.
Do you have any tips for helping out a new mom who may not be up for visitors or is too embarrassed to ask for help? Leave us your thoughts.