We all have our different “love languages” and we use these methods of love to express our care and admiration for friends and family.
Children often benefit from physical affection. I mean, cuddle time is an important part of the day to them.
But some people are very opinionated about how you dote on your children. Should they be?
Recently, Coco Austin was blasted on social media for kissing her daughter Chanel, who she shares with actor Ice-T, on the lips.
One Instagram user replied to a series of mommy and me pictures Austin posted by saying, “All that kissing on the lips so much is grossing me out,” while another expressed how they thought it was “overly sexualized” and “creepy.”
Kissing a child on the lips as the parent is not uncommon, no matter how many adults are uncomfortable with it.
Not long ago, Tom Brady was viciously attacked on social media for kissing his son Jack on the lips during an episode of his Facebook documentary Tom vs. Time, according to Yahoo Lifestyle.
Before that, Olivia Wilde, Angelina Jolie, and David Beckham (who also has a cultural difference on the subject) were all the focal points of the unrelenting judgment the internet can bring when it came to kissing their children.
Back in 1928, leading behaviorist of the time John Watson wrote in his childcare manual “Psychological Care of the Infant and the Child” that caregivers are to be “sensible” in their interactions with their children, saying:
“Never hug and kiss them or let them sit on your lap. Shake hands with them in the morning. Give them a pat on the head if they have made an extraordinary good job of a difficult task. If you must, kiss them once on the forehead when they say goodnight.”
During this era of parenthood, the nanny was the primary care-taker in many middle-class homes, because the mother spent most of her time working or engaged in social meetings.
We have come a long way from the emotional and physical detachment Watson recommended, and now know through research that a more present and affectionate parent is healthier for children.
So should that include kissing your child on the lips?
In short, it is up to you, but there is nothing inherently wrong with giving your child a kiss on the lips.
According to Family Eduction, non-romantic kissing, like all kissing, releases “feel-good” chemicals in the brain, primarily oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin.
This is the exact chemical concoction that is released by babies when they breastfeed!
Babies are not sexualizing the breasts, but they are getting an emotional connection to their mother through the physical bonding of feeding.
Both a kiss and breastfeeding are extremely comforting to children, reducing blood pressure, stress, and anxiety.
The thoughts and feelings around kissing are subjective and often based on personal experience.
Child Development expert Brittany McCabe tells Family Education:
“Studies say it is both healthy and beneficial to show acts of love to your growing and developing child to help with self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence; but ultimately you need to decide what you feel comfortable with.”
A child will not sexualize a non-romantic kiss on the lips unless they have seen or heard a reason to think that way.
It is always important to teach our children appropriate boundaries and “safe adults” in their life, as Mommy Underground has previously reported.
When your child knows it is only you who can kiss them on the lips and how to handle invasions of their emotional or physical boundaries you can safely show much needed affection to your children without it translating to anything inappropriate.
We should be happy when we see parents showing love to their children, not judging them and placing inappropriate tones on their affection.
But then again, what would all those judgy social media users do with their time?