Children are often categorized as outgoing and full of energy – but it’s important to remember every child is wired differently.
There are children who are more quiet and shy, and don’t tend to speak up or be overly social.
The sad thing is, many educators and adults think there is something wrong with a shy child, and utter phrases that are damaging and hurtful.
Telling a shy child they need to “talk more” or “speak up” or even telling them they are “too quiet” tends to introduce shame to the psyche of a child.
As a result, a child who is shy will think something is wrong with them for not being like everyone else.
Sadly, this can make a child feel even worse and want to isolate.
The truth is, many children are truly more introverted and may simply prefer reading books instead of joining a baseball team.
And we must teach our children this is okay!
It’s true – some children will overcome their shyness but others won’t.
As a mom, you may feel frustrated your child doesn’t seem to crave social interaction like other children do.
It’s okay to encourage your child to be around others – but take a look and see what situation works best for them.
If they are overwhelmed at large get togethers and parties – it’s probably not the best idea to take them to a big bash.
Instead, invite 1 or 2 classmates over, or take them to a social outing like roller skating or a group movie.
Also, consider maybe your child is shy around others because they are bored!
If a whole group of kids loves sports, and your child doesn’t – their interests and hobbies won’t be the same and your child might not find much in common with these kids.
You can help your child and find out what hobbies and activities they enjoy and have them become a part of that group.
Or, sign them up for an art class or even a summer reading program where they can be around children who enjoy the same things as they do!
When dealing with a shy child the most important thing you can do is be supportive and not shame them.
One mom got real and shared her struggle in raising a shy child and pointed out how well-meaning family and friends often make things worse.
Scary Mommy reported:
“The main reason these parents feel so much anxiety is not just because it’s incredibly hard dealing with a small child who won’t leave your side or make friends, but because other people in their lives – including their own friends and family members – have shamed them for their child’s behavior.”
So moms – it’s important to accept your child as who they are and not shame them for being shy.
Of course, you can lovingly help them to integrate better – but don’t change who they are.
Instead, celebrate them!
Have you raised a shy child?
If so, what challenges did you overcome?
Tell us your thoughts in the comments below!
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