The Christmas season is typically a joyous time where families and friends gather together to celebrate the birth of Christ.
From Christmas parties and festivities – to your children begging you to take them to see the massive lighted house down the street– or Santa if that is your thing – many moms feel the pressure of having to “entertain” each Christmas.
While this is stressful enough – having to be “on” while you’re grieving can seem impossible – so if you’re struggling this Christmas season – please pause and remember this one thing.
Take it easy.
You are allowed to grieve whatever it is your going through.
Whether it’s the loss of a family member or friend.
The death of a dream – or the ache of infertility.
Financial troubles. Relational mishaps. A wayward child. Chronic health pain.
Behind decorating Christmas cookies and sipping eggnog with family on Christmas Eve – many moms are truly hurting inside.
But instead of feeling free to grieve or work through their pain – they feel the constant pressure to make this Christmas the “best one ever” – even at the expense of themselves.
For some families, this is the first Christmas without grandpa or dad.
The shock and pain of having to celebrate a holiday without a loved one can be crushing and bring you to tears.
And that’s okay!
While you celebrate the joy of Christmas, it’s okay to work through the sorrow you are feeling.
And even if this is your 10th or even 20th Christmas without a loved one – the pain can still feel just as fresh.
Grief comes in waves, and it’s important you don’t suppress or try to stuff it back inside of you.
One woman spoke about the often confusing cycle of grief – and how even the “best advice” doesn’t really pan out when one is walking through this season.
Scary Mommy reported:
“They — whoever “they” are — say time heals all wounds. When it comes to grief, “they” often say a lot of things that sound good on the surface, but prove to be either flat out wrong or plain hurtful. But this time, they’re not wholly wrong.
They’re not wholly right, though, either.
I’d argue time doesn’t heal any wounds. Time doesn’t heal, at all. Time softens. If you’re lucky, time erodes the sharpest edges. Sometimes, though, time doesn’t even do that.”
So moms, take the pressure off yourself to do it all.
Maybe that means canceling a massive Christmas party at your house – and instead keeping it to your immediate family.
Or perhaps instead of cooking for 20 people – you have each guest bring a dish – or even cater out some of the food.
The house doesn’t have to be perfect.
You don’t need to spend a ton of money trying to buy the love of those around you.
Take it easy this Christmas season – give yourself space to grieve.
And remember to extend that same grace to others around you who may be also be grieving their own battles.
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