You have probably heard it before–being a stay-at-home mom means you get to play all day and take naps in the afternoon.
Those making these judgments either have only one child, have never been a SAHM, or just love minimizing the most important job in the world.
This became all too real for one mom who became a SAHM overnight after the coronavirus pandemic turned our lives upside down.
A recent video by Bridgette Ann from Winona, Minnesota has gone viral for her heartbreaking testimonial to the frustrations and challenges of being a SAHM.
Bridgette Ann used to think that staying home with the kids was not real work, and after a few days on the ‘job’ she got a taste of what full-time mothering is all about.
She reveals how she used to assume SAHMs were “lucky to be able to not have to work,” and that they are “lazy.” Or the worst insult, how raising your children full-time isn’t “real” work.
The photo of the viral post on Facebook features the teary-eyed mom in anguish, and the thread that followed tells why.
“You can’t do anything by yourself,” she laments, “Go to the bathroom, enjoy a cup of coffee, read…without someone crying or screaming at your leg.”
All full-time moms can relate to this!
Most SAHMs have just developed techniques through experience and trial and error to combat making these things manageable.
The other struggle Bridgette encountered was trying to “entertain someone for literally 12 hours a day every day.”
This is why there are endless worksheets, crafts, creative play toys, and outdoor fun in every SAHM’s toolbox.
Even then, getting all the kids to be on board with the same activity without utter chaos is a feat.
During social distancing and shelter in place orders, it is hard to get a good, adult conversation in, and with kids in the house talking on the phone is near impossible.
Brigette explains:
“You wish you could have an excuse to have an adult conversation without being interrupted.”
Bridgette says, “I get it now.”
She adds:
“You lock yourself in the bathroom and scream into a towel while crying because you need a second to breathe; all while a child is banging on the door to get in…”
Let that sink in, most of us don’t even have the luxury to cry and be frustrated in peace. And when we do break down people question it; ‘like what do you have to cry about you get to sit home all day.’”
During this time, more moms relate to the honest post more than ever, leading to more than 30,000 comments on the post.
One Facebook user commented:
“This is so true. I stayed home for years. It was the hardest job I ever had.”
But just like with any opinionated post, you are going to get negative responses.
One woman wrote:
“If you’re not ready for a mother’s responsibility then don’t have kids.”
It’s not that moms can’t handle the heavy load and responsibility, but some days are more difficult than others.
Kids are little individuals with unharnessed energy and an aversion to control, and that makes them a handful, to say the least.
Does that mean we hate our children or wish we weren’t moms?
No way!
However, having support through the journey of motherhood is crucial, and judgment helps no one.
Reach out to your mom friends during this time and lend an ear or a clean load of laundry. It can make all the difference.