Life’s Too Short For Negative Mom Friends

Having someone who you can call anytime of day or night is essential to a mother’s positive mental health.

You have to be able to spill about your tough day battling toddlers to eat something other than cheese cubes, and your dinner fiasco after experimenting with the new slow cooker.

There are the “friends” that spend more time telling you all you are doing wrong, rather than encouraging you on this immensely rewarding, yet arduous, journey called motherhood.

Any mother reading this knows the type.

“Hey, I’m trying a new reward technique with my son to make homework time go a little easier,” you say to have-an-answer-for-everything Sally.

She responds, “That method doesn’t work. You have to stick to a strict disciplinary method where he knows his boundaries.”

It’s not even that the information is always wrong, or that you don’t want to hear any good ideas.

What one needs to hear in a difficult time, is that things will get better, that you are doing your best to be the mother you know your kids deserve.

Wouldn’t it be nice if mothers  could have conversations where we uplift each other, where we may differ about our parenting approach, but non-judgmental support is our primary concern.

Motherly reported about a class with a midwife, where the three most controversial words in motherhood were presented.

What were these words that cause so much dissection, strife, and anxiety?

Feeding, sleeping, and diapering.

Why do these words illicit so many emotional responses?

The midwife reveals the insightful power behind the controversial conversations, Motherly reports:

She went on to explain that as mothers we would develop deep devotion and almost radical conviction to the ways we decided to care for our babies.”

Mothers are proud and attached to all the decisions they make for their babies.

And there are so many choices to make in a child’s life!

Are you going to allow screen time, are you going to co-sleep, will you bottle or breastfeed, will you homeschool, and do you start solids with purees or not?

The list is endless, and the choices never cease, but going into motherhood most moms have a general idea of the direction they want to take their child rearing.

The issue is, you are not the only mom who spent hundreds of hours in research trying to find what is best for their children.

Most moms are just trying to provide the absolute best care possible.

Being supportive when what you really want to do is tell your friend all about a new study that is out on screen time is often the first step you should take when a problem is presented.

When people feel loved and accepted, they are more apt to be open to a constructive conversation.

This doesn’t mean that you need to offer advice whenever a conflicting scenario presents itself, but that if you genuinely think a child’s well-being is at stake you can share information in a non-judgmental way at a later date.

Having positive friends can be a Godsend in our most insecure moments.

Dr. Nicholas Christakis of Harvard Medical School and Dr. James Fowler of the University of California in San Diego found that an individual’s social network has a causal relationship with their even of happiness.

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University of New Hampshire remarked on the Harvard study saying:

“..individuals who associate themselves with cheerful people have a happier demeanor and consequently a better sense of well-being.”

It is not only better for our emotional well-being to stay connected with positive friends, but it is better for our physical well-being as well.

Inc reports:

Negativity has been conclusively shown to rewire your brain, making it easier to see the bad in the world and harder to see the good. (The opposite is also true — positivity is a muscle that grows with use.) But science is just as certain that negative feelings like anger, hostility, and cynicism are also terrible for you body.”

The people you choose to spend your time with will shape your outlook on life, attitude, and happiness.

Make sure those people mirror the kind, supportive, non-judgmental friend you hope to be when someone is in need of encouragement.

Motherhood is rewarding, as any mom will attest, but tough days can be draining. Life’s too short to stay connected to those who are not willing to help you jump back on your feet when you get knocked down.

Please let us know in the comments section how a positive friend has impacted your life.