Want To Have The Best Year Ever? Learn To Say NO Without Apology

Let’s face it mama, you are pulled in every direction.

Your kids need you. Your husband needs you. The PTA needs you. Let’s not forget you promised to bring cookies to a church luncheon, or help your friend find the perfect gift for her mother-in-law.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, it’s because you are doing too much!

Yes, we know you can “do it all”, but at some point, something’s got to give.

By learning to say “NO” without feeling guilty or apologizing, you can regain power over your life, and reset healthy boundaries.

Remember this important lesson, every time you say “yes” to something, you are essentially saying no to something else.

Perhaps you are sacrificing the best for the good. Or settling for the status quo.

But we know, saying no can be hard!

After all, if you don’t come through, who will?

Wondering where to start?

Parents reported on some common daily activities moms are saying no to:

  • “Skipping breakfast. My kids are always fed in the morning. But me? Rarely, unless you count caffeine as a food group. It’s about time I start putting my basic needs above silly things, like making sure my kids’ socks match. They can do that.

  • Feeling guilty if I’m late. I’m doing the best I can, so I’ve got to stop beating myself up if we end up running to the bus stop. We always make it. Enough with the mental lashing!

  • Checking my emails obsessively. This is the year I am going to set more boundaries around my personal time. There’s no reason to be “on the clock” at my kids’ swimming lessons. It’s a habit that creates anxiety and pulls me away from being in the moment, and it needs to stop.

  • Volunteering for anything at my kids’ schools. I hate to say it, but volunteering is something that has to go. I ALWAYS end up regretting it, because inevitably, I spend more time than I planned, doing inane things like putting muffins on a plate for a PTA meeting. And if I’m struggling to make a good dinner for my kids, this has to go.

  • Eating dinner after 9 p.m. This is another habit my husband and I have fallen into, as a result of our over-packed schedules. By the time we feed and bathe the kids, help with homework and get them to bed, our own dinner is an afterthought. But 9 o’clock is too late to start cooking (or, more often, ordering take-out), especially when I go to bed at 10.”

The key to saying no is to find out where you are “bleeding” most. If you are glued to your phone, consider a social media fast.

If you’re stuck on fast food, consider taking a weekend afternoon to meal prep for the week, instead of committing to another activity you simply don’t have time for.

There’s nothing wrong with serving and volunteering. In fact, you should give back to your community.

But as the old saying goes, you need your oxygen mask on first, before you can save others.

And as you start to create boundaries and say no, you’ll find you have more time to spend doing things that actually matter.

What activities are you going to say “no” to this year?

Do you feel guilty when saying no? If so, what steps do you plan to take to say no with confidence?

Tell us your thoughts in the comments below.

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