Avoid Saying These Things To A New Mama

Photo by Aaron Freimark on Flickr.com

Having a new baby is one of the most joyous moments for a woman – but it’s also a stressful time with hormonal changes and sleepless nights.

Many people are quick to offer comments to new moms – but sometimes they aren’t always helpful.

So before you approach a new mom with your “words of wisdom’ – make sure you avoid saying these things.

“You Look Tired”

Yes. New moms are tired.

Birth is beautiful, but it can wreak havoc on a woman’s body.

She’s sore and her body is recovering from birth while she’s also adjusting to caring for a new precious life. And learning how to take care of a little one. 

From breastfeeding every few hours, to pumping…

… and trying to feed and take care of herself – it can be a lot at first.

Don’t point out how “tired” she looks – instead do something to help her, like offering to bring her a meal or run a few errands.

“The Extra Weight Should Come Off In A Few Months”

Yes, people actually say these things!

OF COURSE a woman puts on weight when she’s pregnant – she was growing and feeding another human life for 10 months.

The last thing a mom needs to hear (or be reminded of) is the weight she gained.

She knows.

And besides, her focus needs to be on caring for her little one – not worried about how she looks.

“When Are You Going To Have More Kids?”

It might seem like a harmless question, but remember, she just gave birth to a baby.

Her body is still healing, and perhaps she’s still traumatized if she had a bad birthing experience.

She’s likely not thinking about having more children at the moment.

Not to mention, it’s a personal question as it is.

Maybe she knows but doesn’t want to say?

Or perhaps she struggled to get pregnant and doesn’t know if she can have more children.

Play it safe – just don’t ask.

Unsolicited Advice

We saved the best for last.

Every mom thinks they know the best way to care for a baby.

But what works for one mom, might not work for another.

Some moms LOVE baby-wearing – others can’t stand it.

From whether a baby should be in their own room their first night home or bed-sharing, telling another woman what’s best for her or here baby will likely only upset her.

New moms are already overwhelmed with figuring out what baby products they need, and how many onesies and sleepers they should have.

Maybe they’ll ask you a specific question like a recommendation for a certain product – then it’s completely fine to share what worked for you!

But offering unsolicited advice on what they should or shouldn’t do as a mom will likely overwhelm them – or even make them mad.

The best thing we can do for our new mamas is simply be there for them.

Whether it’s just to listen as they share the ups and downs they are feeling, or the kindness of a homemade meal or care package – there are plenty of ways we can support new moms and let them know they are not alone – and that they can do this! 

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