This Dad’s Offer To “Help” His Daughter Is Raising Eyebrows Online – What Do You Think?


The reason parenting is the most important job on Earth is that we are ultimately responsible for making sure another person grows up emotionally and physically healthy.

We try to model healthy habits and guide our children in a positive direction – all without putting too much pressure on them so they can find their own way as adults.

Parenting is always a balancing act, but now one dad has come under fire for a controversial approach in teaching his child to practice healthy habits.

If you ask any parent what they truly want for their child, they would likely say “for them to be happy and healthy.”

Of course, our children’s health is the most important aspect of their lives.  As the old saying goes, “If you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything.”

Good physical health is essential to being emotionally healthy, leading an active life, and enjoying all that life has to offer.

So when our children have health problems, we want to make sure we do everything we can to get them back on track so they can build on that foundation for a lifetime.

Café Mom recently reported on a post appearing on Reddit, wherein a father shared his idea for helping encourage his daughter to adopt a healthier lifestyle.

The father shares that his 22-year-old daughter has been gaining weight.  

She no longer lives at home, goes to school full-time with her father’s financial help, and pays for her essentials by working part-time.

We’ve all been there.  Being a full-time student and working is a lot to juggle, especially for someone living on their own for the first time.

It can be stressful to transition into the real world of adulthood, and sometimes healthy habits can fall by the wayside.

It may be temporary, or it may become an unhealthy lifestyle that is difficult to overcome.

Whatever this young woman’s personal choices may be in the long run, her father is concerned.  He states that it is not just an issue of her appearance – he is particularly concerned with how her weight gain may impact her health.

While he’s definitely correct that being overweight leads to both short-term and long-term health consequences, he wanted to know what users thought about a proposal he made to his daughter.

He offered to pay her to go to the gym.

In fact, for every hour she spends there, he will pay her $15 – more than she’s making at her part-time job.

Reddit users didn’t hold back in their responses to this “concerned” dad.  And while some were supportive of his proposal, many shared their own concerns over his idea.

While this dad thought that paying his daughter to go to the gym would be a win/win – she could cut down her hours at her job and get some exercise to improve her health – others see the negative consequences of the plan.

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While he said that his daughter was fairly receptive to the idea — despite being a bit hurt — this seems to be a plan doomed to fail.

And what may suffer most is this parent/child bond.

Users jumped in offering similar stories of their parents trying to control their personal choices – sometimes with “bribes” of money – and it only served to drive a wedge into their relationship.

Others brought up the very good point that his daughter is probably already suffering from low self-esteem, knows that she needs to make better choices, and doesn’t need to feel like her father is disappointed in her.

Although this dad thinks he’s helping his daughter to both be healthier and more stable financially, there’s no doubt she is going to feel that she is being “attacked” or judged as unworthy in some way by the person closest to her.

And experts agree – whether it’s for grades, or health goals, or to sway a decision – paying your child to do what you want them to do is a recipe for disaster.

While it may provide some short-term motivation, money cannot be the reason for someone choosing to live a healthier lifestyle.

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