- Teenagers Are Not Entitled To Hang Out
Consistent with the disease of Millennials, adolescents these days think that they have a right to hang out with their friends, and spend their weekends the way they want.
That is simply not the case. While they are developmentally driven to create friends and to bond in a group, how and when that is done is up to the parent’s discretion.
As Lehman points out, “kids have to behave responsibly in order to earn the right to go out.”
Trust is earned through consistent demonstration that good choices are being made, even in the parent’s absence.
When trust is broken, it is your teenager’s responsibility to earn back that trust in order to be allowed out with friends again.
Expectations should always be discussed from both parties so that standards are attainable and the child is aware of the standards of behavior.
It is natural to think that it is the other kids that are being a bad influence on your child.
However, kids are drawn to others who reinforce their life choices, and you have to consider the possibility that your child has some issues they need to work out.
Address your child’s behavior directly without blaming it on their friends, or giving them an excuse like “everybody has done this.”
Part of trying to get them to choose the right friends is getting them to desire behaviors in themselves that are healthy and productive.
This is done by being open about your expectations, reminding them they are worth expecting more for themselves, and always being consistent with consequences.
Please let us know in the comments section what issues you have confronted with your adolescent, and helpful tips you have found effective.