6. When you want to say, “Clean your room right now!” Replace it with, “Let’s take a look at your room and see where a good place to start tidying up would be.”
It is possible that any mention of cleaning will illicit a negative response in your child, but at least with the latter phrase you can be solution oriented.
Parents can get stuck in the demand and consequence approach, which may be effective after enough consequences, but it fails to teach your child how to better approach the problem in the future.
Cleaning their room, or any other task can quickly become overwhelming for a child. Separating a task into manageable parts reduces anxiety and helps them to feel they can conquer what you asked of them.
Tantrums are ultimately about control. Look at ways to empower your child in everyday things so they don’t feel the need to gain control in a negative way.
Try to give two options for lunch that they can choose from, or allow them to clean their room before or after you read a book.
Don’t get me wrong, there are times when children will test limits and need to be corrected in some way.
Using these helpful phrases can give you some reprieve as your child develops valuable skills that will benefit them for life.
Saying some of these phrases may seem uncomfortable and scripted at first, but the more they are implemented the easier a calm and de-escalating approach will be.
Please let us know in the comments section if you have used any of these successfully, or if you have your own phrase that works wonders.